The Infection
by Witch Bomb
Summary: Something unspeakably horrible happens to the Spriggan 12 in the meeting room.


**A/N: This is based on events on a group chat I'm in on Kik (long story short: one of us started stripping like Gray, I got infected, and I'm pretty sure at least one other person did).**

 **It's also something I wrote to make up for my procrastination on Obsidian. Sorry. I'm working on it.**

 **Also, we aren't 100% certain of Larcade's gender yet, so until we know, I'm referring to them by they/them/their pronouns.**

* * *

The meeting room was near-silent, a rare occurrence when it came to the Spriggan 12 of Alvarez. Nearly all of them had found something to occupy themselves with as they waited for Emperor Spriggan to arrive and initiate the meeting – which was still not meant to start for fifteen minutes. In fact, the only reason they were all here so early was because Invel had actually gone and found every single one of them and ordered them to come… in some cases, by physically dragging them.

The sound of swishing paper filled the silence as Invel flipped to the next page of his book, feigning obliviousness to the glares Neinhart and Brandish kept sending him (he'd interrupted their beauty sleep, after all).

And suddenly, the room was no longer silent.

Invel looked up curiously, searching for the source of the laughter. It turned out to be Ajeel; he was on the opposite side of the meeting table, snickering at him.

"Ajeel? May I ask what you find so amusing?" Invel closed his book and placed it on the table.

His comrade managed to stop laughing for a short moment. "So, is that just an ice mage thing, or is there something you want to tell us?"

The response was a blank stare. "…What?"

Dimaria cleared her throat, a slight smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Invel, your coat."

"My – ?" His eyes widened as he looked down to see that his coat was, in fact, missing. "Where is it?"

"It's on the floor," Dimaria told him. She paused. "Your tie, too."

Invel leaned down to pick up his clothes. "How did they get down here?"

Brandish stared at him as he sat back up. "You… sort of took them off. Did you not even notice?"

"No, I did not. Apologies."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "How – _Ajeel!_ "

Ajeel looked up at her, apparently not realizing that he was now shirtless. "Wha'?"

"Your shirt. Are you not even realizing this?" Brandish stared at him incredulously.

Next to her, Neinhart laughed. "You're one to talk, Brandish."

"Me?" Brandish looked down. Immediately, her hands flew to her chest to cover herself up. " _How is this happening?!_ "

"You don't have to cover up, Randi. We don't mind."

Invel slapped Dimaria. "You're topless as well."

Dimaria shrugged. "Don't care. I'm confident in my body, unlike _some_ people."

"There's a difference between being confident and being shameless!"

"Shameless it is, then."

Wahl cackled as the room gradually descended into chaos. "You guys look ridiculous!"

"You're down to your boxers already," Ajeel pointed out. "At least _I'm_ still wearing pants!"

"No, you're not!"

"… _Shit!_ "

Eileen glanced at Neinhart out of the corner of her eye. "Neinhart, how does one _subconsciously_ remove armour?"

"Good question." He rested one elbow on the table, propping his head on one hand. "And how does one manage to _subconsciously_ remove their pants while sitting down?"

Eileen looked down. "…Good question."

"Nice legs, though."

"Thank you. Nice abs."

"I agree with both of you," Serena stated from a few seats away. Either he hadn't noticed that he was shirtless or he just didn't care. Neinhart and Eileen both suspected the latter.

Bloodman glanced at Larcade. "I see thou hath been infected as well."

"Yeah, and you somehow managed to remove everything _except_ your mask and your pants." Larcade folded their arms, sinking down angrily in their seat.

Behind his mask, Bloodman raised an eyebrow. "Is thou upset about that?"

"Kind of." Then they realized what they'd just said, and pointed a finger threateningly at Bloodman. "The mask, I mean. Not the pants. You keep those on."

By now, nearly everyone was down to their underwear. Jacob stood up, panicking. "August, you know every kind of magic, right? There must be something you can do to stop this!"

"I'm trying to remember the spell. Don't rush me." From his seat, August glared up at him.

"Well, hurry up! I don't want to know what Wahl's metal ass looks like!"

"Hey! _Rude!_ " Wahl glared at him indignantly from across the table.

Serena patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, Wahl. _I_ think you're attractive."

"August, _hurry up_!" Jacob was becoming more frantic by the second – one of the Spriggans' underwear could come off at any moment, and thatwould not be pleasant.

"Are you all stupid?" Invel cried. "Start looking for your own clothing and put it back on. Don't rely on spells for something as simple as this."

"I was gonna do that anyway!" Ajeel all but fell out of his seat and started searching around on the floor. "Where the hell is my shirt?"

"Sure you were." Invel glanced around for his own shirt, not daring to move out of his seat.

At that moment, the double doors swung open. The emperor stepped in, his usual eerie smile plastered on his face. "Sorry, I know you all probably weren't expecting the meeting to start a few minutes ahead of schedule. But you're all here, so I–"

His sentence broke off as his eyes swept the meeting room. Serena was trying to comfort Wahl; Larcade was trying to tear of Bloodman's mask; Dimaria was not-so-subtly ogling Brandish and Eileen; Jacob was yelling at August, his words unintelligible through his panic; Ajeel was on his hands and knees on the floor, seemingly searching for something; Invel seemed to be the only one who had noticed him come in.

And every single one of them had stripped down to their underwear.

As the others became aware of the emperor's presence, the room quieted down.

Zeref stared at the Spriggans.

They stared back at him.

After a long moment, Invel broke the silence. "Your Majesty, I can explain–"

"No need… no need…" Zeref, bright red in the face, was backing slowly out of the room. "I'll just… leave you all to… whatever you were doing…"

The doors slammed shut behind him. He turned around and leaned against the wood, his face still flushed. From the other side, he heard Jacob begin shrieking at August again.

Inadvertently, Zeref began laughing.

Some of the things his Spriggans got up to really were ridiculous.


End file.
